The other night my wife and I were at an event. I was in a conversation with a friend. She showed me her nearly empty glass and said, "I'm not drinking much." I replied, "I'm not drinking at all." She responded that my wife had said something to her about the fact that I no longer drink.
Thus ensued a very interesting conversation. I explained that I have changed careers, I got my state certification as an addiction recovery coach, and I find helping people very fulfilling. I went on to explain that recovery coaches and peer advocates are just that, peers, or people living with substance use disorder helping other
people with their own issues with substances.
She hesitated momentarily and said, "So you're an . . ." I finished her thought and said, "I'm an alcoholic," to which she replied, "And you just say that?" And I said, "At least once a day, pretty much every day."
Her reaction was wonderful, as have been the reactions I've received from people regarding my disease and my career choice without fail. That said, there is a very interesting point here. She showed tolerance, support, and I'd even say, to some extent, admiration.
But, that question: "And you just say that?"
She didn't ask that because she thought less of me based on her new knowledge, but because she thinks others might. That's by no means her fault. I believe we are of a similar age (I've never asked. Do you think I'm stupid?!), and we all grew up with a pretty common stereotype of "an alcoholic." Needless to say, that label did not have any positive connotations.
The modern understanding that addiction is a disease has caused society to take major strides in reducing the stigma that comes with substance use disorder (SUD). When I was young, addiction was something that was never discussed, unless someone was using the label "addict" or "alcoholic" to describe someone else and to imply all of the things that came with those loaded words.
Now? I just say that.
That doesn't mean that being totally open about the disease is right for everyone. If I were looking to get back into my "former life" in advertising, I don't know that I'd be quite so open. In fact, when I first got sober, I was very worried about what people would think of me. If other kids found out, would it come back on my kids? What would my kids' friends' parents think? Would I become the talk of the town? These questions can stop people from seeking help. In my case, they did, for quite a while. I had a tremendous fear of going into treatment, of what people would say when I disappeared, of what they would think, but I've realized that those fears were unnecessary and misguided.
In my case, none of the negatives has come to pass. As I said above, the responses I've received when I share about myself have been overwhelmingly positive and supportive. Sure, it may not be for everyone to announce their situation via social media, but, to whatever extent you can or want to be public, know that, for me and the other people with SUD that I know, society has been remarkably accepting of us. Don't be afraid to seek help!
The more of us that can be open, the more people will see that substance use disorder truly does not discriminate -- not by ethnicity, race, age, gender, level of education, or socio-economic status. There are people living with SUD in all walks of life, and the more people realize that we are wives, husbands, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, friends, and colleagues, the more the stigma will lift.
- Chappy
Comments